Priscilla's Diary
by Pureauthor
Summary: The top secret diary of Priscilla as she embarks on a quest to save the world, and prevent herself from going absolutely bananas. Sanity not included.
1. Days 1 to 18

Priscilla's Diary

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It's back! All script sections have been replaced with prose so as not to break the site's rules. (Although I still maintain some humour is just done better inscript.) Happy now, admin?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Day 1

Weather: Sunny.

Location: Castle Carleon's stables

You know, I'm starting to wonder if Erk's ever going to show up. We were supposed to set of what? An hour ago? He went to grab some extra supplies after doing some calculations, and he hasn't come back yet.

Mariel's (my horse) already bridled, and ready to go. I have my pack with me, a Mend stave (dad gave me that for my birthday. Have to remember to thank him for it when I come home), and enough food and water for weeks. Erk got a Thunder tome from his master for this trip. (I think his name is Pants or something. Weird name), and he has his traveling cloak. Or _had_. He left it down here while he went off somewhere.

Never mind. He's back. Ran into a few palace guards on the way and didn't want to fry them. (He says) So, he had to take the long way round and ended up stuck somewhere in the garden maze. To this day, I still have no idea why Mom decided to make that thing. During my tenth birthday, half the invitees got lost inside and nearly starved to death.

Ah, well. Guess it's time we set off. Later.

Priscilla

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Day 7

Weather: Sunny

Location: Somewhere in Etruria, near the border (Geography was never my strong point, okay?)

We were attacked by bandits last night. Fun. Erk managed to fend them off (well, if you count throwing kitchen utensils at their leader as "fending off") but he got wounded in the process. I offered to heal him, but he said he was fine.

I was halfway ready to believe that until he collapsed about an hour back.

So now I'm walking, Erk's unconscious body is piled up on Mariel, and I'm feeling grumpy. Hard to write at the same time as when you're walking. I guess I'll get used to it.

If I remember correctly (and that's a rather big if), there should be a border inn nearby. Hopefully we'll find it soon and Erk (and I) can rest.

(X)

Okay. Inn? Check. Found it after about an hour of wondering about aimlessly.

Mariel with me? Check. My pack? Check.

So why do I have this strange feeling I forgot something?

Ah, I suppose it'll come to me later. Right now, I want some sleep.

Priscilla

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Day 8

Weather: Still sunny

Location: Border checkpoint.

Erk is still unhappy about the fact that he fell off Mariel while I was looking for the inn, and I didn't even notice. Of course, he's hasn't told me that in so many words, but I can tell.

The fact that he's not talking to me at all unless absolutely necessary is a big clue.

However, seeing as we're now at the border, and we have to figure out how to get past the guards, he's deigned to converse with me.

"_Erk… please, wait."_

_The purple-haired mage halted at the request, and half-turned to face his employer. "Lady Priscilla?"_

_Priscilla flushed slightly. "We… we might have a bit of problem getting through the border."_

_Erk frowned. "How? I have my papers in orders, and if worst comes to worst, you can just tell them you're nobility."_

_The blush on Priscilla's face increased in intensity. "Erk… I… I didn't tell my parents I was going out on this trip. So, they might have alerted the border guard to be on the lookout for me."_

_Erk turned back to face the trio of soldiers covering the checkpoint, an unreadable expression on his face. "Alright, then. I have an idea. But you might no tlike it…"_

So now I'm sitting in a bush, something is poking me in the back, and there are twigs in my hair. Erk said he'd go distract the guards, leaving me and Mariel free to cross. Then he'd lose the guards and hook up with me later. When I pointed out that he was a Mage, not a Thief, he got annoyed and asked whether or not I really wanted to get to Lycia in the first place. If the answer was yes, he said, then I should go wait in the bushes.

Edit: Erk just hit one of the guards with Thunder. Time for me to go.

Priscilla

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Day 9

Weather: I dunno. We've been stuck in this inn the whole day

Location: Some inn in Lycia

After crossing the border, I made it to the agreed meeting point and waited for Erk. Three hours later, he showed, bearing several nicks and bruises but otherwise, he looked fine.

Well, other than the Javelin impaled into his stomach, I suppose.

After checking in and the nearest Tavern, Erk managed to crawl upstairs before passing out. Again. That's twice in under a week. And the wound doesn't appear that it'll stop bleeding anytime soon. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

Well, that was a messy business. I had to use over half my bandages, and the Mend stave, but in the end, the bleeding stopped. Erk woke up shortly after and thanked me for saving his life. I don't know why, but I think he feels a little ashamed of himself.

Ugh, what am I, a philosopher? The castle had enough of _those_. I'm going to sleep.

Priscilla

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Day 14

Weather: Cloudy and damp

Location: Ostia

We reached Ostia today. Just as well. Mariel's getting cranky after four days of nearly continuous travel. Somehow the tent ended up with a hole in it, and it just _had_ to start raining the four nights nonstop. I think I've forgotten what it feels like to be dry.

Erk went off to find a Vendor. Apparently he wants a Fire tome so the next time we get a rainy spell he can dry me off. He's neglected to mention that it would probably incinerate me as well.

Okay, I saw this huge guy with blue hair and a huge axe storm out of Castle Ostia, followed by another man in a red cloak. Both of them seemed to be arguing over something.

_The blue-haired axefighter whirled around angrily to face his associate. "For the last time**, stop** putting tomatoes in my backpack!"_

"_But young master!" The cloaked man said with a cheery smile. "You far stronger than I am! It only makes sense that you carry the heavier loads, no?"_

_The axefighter's eyes narrowed. "I don't even **like** tomatoes! For the love of St. Elimine, you're the only one who eats them! Remove EVERYTHING that I don't use from my pack! **NOW**!"_

_The cloaked man ran a hand through his messy hair, a his smile turning resigned. "Very well, young master." He conceded as he knelt down and began digging through the packs of the axefighter. "Now… let's see… tomatoes, my diary, a batch of home cooked cookies, all 20 volumes of 'Lockpicking for Dummies' … shoot, which bag did I put my shiny rock collection, again?"_

"… _I am going to kill you, Matthew." The axefighter said calmly. Too calmly. **Way** too calmly. "Once we're beyond the city limits and no one else is around, I'm going to kill you."_

_Matthew nodded. "Of course you are, young master. If you can catch me, that is." An instant later he was up and running._

"_COME BACK HERE!" The axefighter roared as he charged after 'Matthew'._

Is this just an Ostian thing, or is all Lycia this screwed up? Then again, I _am_ originally from Lycia. Maybe it's just repressed from me living in Etruria and once I spend any amount of time with the Lycians I'll become like them.

Now _there's_ a scary thought.

Erk just returned. Apparently, the shops were fresh out of Fire, but he managed to snag a Goddess Icon. Those things are rarities nowadays. Yay.

According to Erk (who's the one planning the timetable), we should set off sometime tomorrow. Meanwhile, he's found an inn room for me. Single bed, though. Which lent itself to the question of where Erk planned on spending the night. He wanted to sit down and lean against the doorway of my room.

I'm not very sure whether he took my stunned silence as consent or not, because he just raised an eyebrow looking at me. After finding my voice, I asked him if he thought that would be slightly embarrassing should any innkeepers happen to chance by.

He replied by saying that the only alternative was him spending the night in the same room with me, and he was pretty sure I didn't want that.

So the arguments settled, I'm lying in my bed writing this, and I can hear a heated argument outside my room door, about the rights of providing shelter to homeless wandering mages. The innkeeper isn't buying any of it, though, from what I can-

Never mind. I just heard the sound of a thunder spell being cast. Methinks diplomacy isn't Erk's strong point. But that's neither here nor there.

Goodnight, diary.

Priscilla

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Day 16

Weather: Cloudy

Location: Outskirts of Laus

As I'm writing this, Erk is busy cooking supper for both of us. The fire's burning brightly and there's just enough light for me to be writing in this thing.

We should be through Laus in about two days, three for any unforeseen delays, and then, Caelin and House Cornwell!

Although that makes me feel a bit weird about my name. Priscilla Cornwell. Doesn't sit right for some reason.

Or maybe I'm just nervous. Erk glanced over and said I looked a little pale.

I guess I'll turn in early. After supper, of course.

Priscilla

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Day 17

Weather: Sunny

Location: Village closest to Castle Laus

You know what I wrote yesterday? About unforeseen circumstances and all that? I figure this must be the universe's way of giving me the finger.

Shall I recant to you, dear diary, what happened this morning? We had just passed Castle Ostia when I saw a village up ahead. Erk agreed to a short pit- stop, and we entered. After a while, he decided to go take a look around.

"_You will be alright by yourself, Lady Priscilla?" Erk asked one last time before walking past the gates._

_Priscilla smiled and nodded. "Not to worry, Erk. I can handle myself for an hour or so."_

_Erk smiled in returned, bowed slightly, and left the village._

_Reaching up to tuck a loose strange of hair behind her ears, Priscilla was distracted by the blaring of several out-of-tune trumpets._

"_All assemble, for the Lord Darin graces us with his noble presence!"_

_As the hordes of seemingly-reluctant villagers trickled out of their houses, Priscilla heard one mutter, "Great. Just great. We're already working ourselves to the stinking bone and he comes to recruit more people for his army."_

I didn't particularly feel like going to observe the proceedings, but several soldiers motioned for me to get in line. Considering the fact that I was a girl, I thought it'd be all right. HA!

Well, one guy there certainly drew all the attention. Apparently he's Lord Darin, Marquess of Laus. And I swear that is _not_ his real hair.

"_Hmph!"The Marquess snorted. "Is this lot the best you lousy mongrels can put up? At this rate I'll never fulfill my dream of ruling Lycia."_

"_Your what?" Priscilla blurted out._

"… _Did I say 'ruling Lycia'? Oh, sorry, I obviously meant… uh… my dream of… um, leading all Lycia into a greater period of peace and prosperity! Aren't I a great ruler?"_

"_Sure…" Came the half hearted reply._

_The Marquess glared at them. "Anyway, as I was saying, if these are the strongest men your village has to offer, you're useless!"_

_Priscilla pricked her ears at the sound of mumbling. "Try dealing with those fluxing pirates that keep raiding our village and then we'll talk."_

"_Did you say something?" The Marquess questioned._

_No reply was forthcoming save the sound of whistling._

After that, Mr. I-gel-my-own-hair picked out a few men and told them to follow the soldiers. I assumed that was it for the day. Until, of course, he said…

"_Now then, time for the next segment."_

_With a nod, the messenger stepped forward and proclaimed, "Hear ye, hear ye. The Lord Darin will now bestow upon one of you ladies the honour of being his next wife!"_

"_**Next** wife?"_ Priscilla asked incredulously.

"_Every five years or so he gets a new one."_

_Priscilla blinked and turned back to face the Marquess, who was currently grinning and rubbing his hands together. "Um… okay…" She mumbled._

Around that time I had this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Unluckily enough, I didn't follow it and instead opted for hanging around.

"_Hate your hair…"_

"_He's one to talk." Priscilla mumbled wearily as the Marquess continued strolling around the town square._

"_Oh, wait, let me guess, you have a great personality, right?"_

I suppose opposite attract. _Priscilla thought. She should probably be leaving, anyway-_

"_Ah-HA! You!"_

At this point, I tried scanning the crowd, trying to figure which poor sap was unlucky enough to have to be that loser's wife. Then I noticed everyone was staring at me. It was approximately then that the bad feeling in my stomach became about ten times worse.

He exulted over his great 'find', and how this would show to all Lycia that Laus was best in everything. The best food, the finest soldiers, and now, he said, the most beautiful women.

I suppose mentioning that I was originally from Caelin would only have made things worse. Ditto that he was about three times my age (I'm fifteen. And so is Erk, according to Lord Pants). So, I just decided to refuse him.

Boy, you could have heard a pin drop after that.

_The town square was silent. Absolutely, utterly, silent._

_No one moved. It seemed as if no one breathed. A tumbleweed rolled by, disregarding the fact that tumbleweeds aren't usually found in town squares. Every eye was fixated upon the young girl who had dared turn down the Marquess._

_Then it was broken. "Y- you WHAT?" Darin demanded._

_Priscilla swallowed, fear apparent on her face. But she had an ounce more resolve than she had fear, and so she stood her ground. "You heard me. I said no."_

_An instant later the entire town erupted with cheers and applause as the people gave what could only be called a standing ovation to the unknown young woman._

_ANOTHER instant later, all that was silenced by a loud shout from Darin. "How **dare** you! Guards! Guard the entrance of the village, and prevent that girl from leaving until she accepts my offer!" Even before the guards could nod their affirmation, he had already whirled around and stalked away in a huff. The intended result would have been a lot more effective if the Marquess had not tripped over a loose pebble on his way out._

Boy, _that_ went well. The one bright spot is that the villagers agreed to grant me asylum for as long as was necessary. That's rather nice of them, I suppose.

Still, Erk approached the village an hour ago and found the way barred. We managed to hold a conversation using Etrurian sign language (It took me about an hour to figure out that he was _not_ signing "Our chicken has measles"), and agreed that he should go off to the other villages to seek aid.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here in this village for the foreseeable future. Guess I might as well turn in for the night.

Priscilla

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Day 18

Weather: Still sunny

Location: Within said village

Nothing much happened today. Marquess Laus stopped by and asked if I'd changed my mind yet.

He told me that if I agreed to be his mistress, I'd get the finest foods in all the land, the protection of Laus' elite forces, the most comfortable lodgings this side of Lycia, and best of all (according to him), his company.

I replied by telling him where he could shove his lance.

After about another five minutes of yelling, he left in a huff. I feel sorry for the people who have to live under him. And according to the locals, his son, Erik, isn't much better.

I'm starting to think my theory that all Lycian nobles are, on one level or other, screwed up, is correct. I'm half afraid of what I'll find if I reach House Cornwell now.

Priscilla

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Okay, that's entry one. I hope you enjoyed it.

And as a sidenote, I thank Ivanfanatic (Kate Sith) for her wonderful, wonderful expletive.

Either ways, review please!


	2. Days 19 to 22

Chapter 2, and story looks to be progressing well, eh? Have fun, I hope!

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Day 19

Weather: Sunny

Location: The same village

Okay, indignity has reached a new low. Marquess Laus doesn't even bother to come himself anymore. Yes, he just sends "messengers" to tell me to come with them. He sent about three. In the last hour. When the next one comes I'm going to bean him over the head with my stave.

Yep, just arrived. The villagers tossed him out the gates and the guards preventing anyone from leaving did the rest. I wish I could have some peace and quiet these days. But I suppose that's not likely.

Flux it, _another_ messenger just popped up, and this time it's the Marquess' own son, Lord Erik, with that free haircut. He took one look at me and started drooling.

_Priscilla gazed nervously at the latest messenger from the Marquess. "Um… hello?" She offered lamely._

_The messenger – supposedly Erik, the Marquess' son apparently didn't appear to have heard her. Then again, he was staring at her with the sort of dumbstruck expression one usually reserved for mental insitution patients._

"_Hablxstf!" He proclaimed, which didn't do much to raise Priscilla's opinion of him. It worked wonders, however, for heightening her unease._

_Backing up slowly, she dismayed to observe him matching her pretty much step for step in advancing. Nor did he seem pretty interested in delivering his message. In fact given the expression on his face, she couldn't help several uncomfortable images in her mind._

_Which probably made having her Mend staff with her a good thing. Smashing it onto his head as he lunged was oddly satisfying._

The guards carted him off from where the villagers dumped him. And the Marquess seemed to get the message for now. No more messengers and envoys. And I have drool over my shirt.

Once I get back to the inn, I'm going to take a bath. A _long_ bath.

-Priscilla

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Day 20

Weather: Cloudy/Rainy

Location: Village

Well, something rather unbelievable happened today. I was wandering around the village, wondering why Erk hadn't showed up yet, when I heard the sounds of combat outside the village. The magistrate's house had a second story, so we headed there to take a look.

Turns out Laus was fighting a band on warriors that showed up near the outer lake. Things weren't going too well for Laus either. I saw a couple of people with axes mowing over the Soldiers fighting them, and I thought I saw the blue-haired guy from Ostia punching someone in the face.

And I caught sight of Erk frying an unfortunate soldier who happened to cross his path. Then someone with pink hair tapped him on the shoulder.

I can still hear his scream ringing in my ears. What was _that_ all about?

Either way, the battle was starting to wind down when someone yelled that pirates were approaching the village. Apparently a group of brigands have been raiding the villages and the Marquess hasn't been doing too much to stop it. He's too busy preparing for war.

Wow, and I thought I couldn't respect him any less.

Anyway, the villagers grabbed pitchforks, crude axes, and other assorted weapons and headed to the entrance to fend off the pirates. But apparently the group fighting Laus got to them first because the pirates ran into problems near the local vendor.

"_Say it!" The paladin demanded as he dangled the pirate by his legs._

"_Uncle! Uncle!" The pirate pleaded, and he was rewarded by getting dropped onto the floor like a sack of hay._

"_Missed me!" The red-cloaked man from Ostia called out cheerily as he easily sidestepped a pirate's clumsy lunge. "Missed again!" He called out as he backflipped over another swing. As the increasingly irate pirate swung both of his axes in a futile effort to hack the grinning thief, the cloaked man called out yet again. "Geez, you aren't very fast, are you?"_

"_Just… just you wait!" The pirate managed to fire back in between gasps. "I'll _- huff – _I'll kill you!"_

_So engrossed was the pirate with the cheery thief that he failed to notice a myrmidon in blue garb rushing up behind him. "No, you won't." The cloaked man retorted with a wide smile as he eye the myrmidon drawing his curved blade._

KA – SNIKT!

Ewww, now _that_ was a sight I did not need to see. Suffice it to say there are pirate entails hanging from the roof of the Vendor, and the owner is grumbling about how she'll have to get the ladder to clean it.

In short, the pirates are getting creamed.

"_Who's yer daddy? Who's yer daddy! I wanna hear you squeal, boy! Scream! Louder! Wahahahaha!" Another pirate yelled as he brutalized the face of a sword-wielding redhead."_

Well, other than that one guy, the pirates are getting creamed.

Shortly after, the Paladin rode over.

_The paladin blinked as he caught sight of Priscilla, and changed course so that he stopped closer to her. "You there! You are the Lady Priscilla, aren't you?"_

_Priscilla's eyes widened in surprise. "H-how do you know my name? Don't tell me the Marquess sent you…"_

"_I do not serve House Laus." The paladin replied calmly. "Your standing up to the Marquess has become the talk of the canton, and any visits to the local homes quickly yielded information about you."_

"_Oh…"_

_The paladin shook his head. "Ah, but I am forgetting my manners! I am Marcus, a member of the Knights of Pherae, one of the members of the Lycian League, And I pledge upon my honour that I shall –"_

"_THERE you are!"_

_Priscilla had never thought she would see a knight cringe, but apparently she just had, for after a startled yelp Marcus began casting around, as if searching for an unseen foe. "Uh oh…" He mumbled._

Around this point, someone with a big brown cloak ran up and grabbed Marcus by the shoulder. And I thought the guy with the _red_ cloak was bad…

"_I thought I told you not to go onto the battlefield!" The newcomer snapped. "Do you know how much time we've wasted looking for you?" He continued his tirade as he tried to drag the struggling paladin away, in full view of the stunned Priscilla._

"_But why?" Marcus whined. "Why do you insist on preventing me from fighting?"_

"_Maybe – umpf! – it's because - oof! – you're an – argh! - experience – yeargh! – hog?" The newcomer managed in between grunts. "C'mon, OFF THE BATTLEFIELD!"_

"_Meep!" Marcus cowered. "Y-yes, tactician…" He finally said in defeat as he rode off._

_Not even glancing in the dumbstruck Priscilla's direction, the cloaked stranger wiped sweat off his forehead. "Jeez, this is going to be tough." He muttered as he strode away._

After the two of them left, the village gates swung shut for some strange reason, and none of us could open them. When Erk finally stopped by, he had to burn them away with his newly acquired Fire spell.

"_Erk!" Priscilla cried happily as she saw him standing in the doorway of the village gates. "You came back!"_

"_Was there ever any doubt?" He asked with a slight smile on his face. Extending his hand, he jerked his chin to indicate that they should be leaving. "C'mom lady Priscilla. You've stayed here long enough."_

"_Got it." She smiled in reply from atop Mariel. "Let's go."_

Well, around that time, the battle was almost over, except for Erik (who was leading the army) and a few Cavaliers. And the redhead who was getting beaten up by the pirate just now? Turns out his name is Eliwood, and he's the commander of the army.

And he just got roped into a one-on-one with Erik and his Silver Lance.

"_Stop it, Erik!" Eliwood proclaimed heroically, the effect somewhat ruined by his black eye, lacerations, limp, and what appeared to be a broken arm. "I don't –" He staggered. "Want to hurt a –" He collapsed. "…former friend." He finished weakly as he somehow managed to point his rapier in the general direction of Erik."_

"_You fool!" Erik laughed. "You think we're still in school? Well then, let me give you an – hablxstf!" He finished as he started drooling._

_Yup, he'd caught sight of Priscilla again._

Great, now we have two guys who are completely out of it fighting each other. This should be worth a few laughs, at least.

Erk just set the last remaining cavalier's hair on fire so we could watch. Rather nice entertainment, I must say. Not as good as the Eliwood/Erik battle though.

"_F-fine then!" Eliwood shouted as he struggled back to his feet. "For great justice!" He made a wild stab with his rapier, and ended up impaling a tree._

_Erik wasn't doing very well either as he seemed unable to pay attention to anything that wasn't in Priscilla's general direction. "Ha! My turn!" He crowed triumphantly, just before impaling the exact same tree with his lance._

_There was silence as each party pondered this turn of events._

_Finally, Erik broke it. "So, uh, what do we do now?_

_Eliwood shrugged. "We could, well, try pulling our weapons out again."_

"_A class idea!" Erik proclaimed as he grabbed hold of his Silver Lance and began tugging. "Unnff!"_

"_Hello, Erik." Hector said as he raised his Wolf Beil._

THWACKOOM!

_Erik's mangled form twitched slightly on the ground._

"_Aw, man." Eliwood complained. "I didn't even get to finish my match."_

Well, that's over and done with, Erk just put the last cavalier out of his misery. After that, we had a short conversation, and we've decided to hook up with Eliwood's gr-

Ex_cuse_ me. _Lord_ Eliwood's group. Turn's out he's kinda uptight about that.

Well, they've set up camp somewhere over the ridge. We're making introductions now, so, later.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 21

Weather: It's fluxing pouring

Location: Eliwood's camp. Excusez moi, _Lord_ Eliwood's camp

I'm in a rather bad mood right now. It's been raining nonstop for since yesterday, I'm sitting in this stuffy tent, and I have two roommates that absolutely refuse to shut up, thereby making my already throbbing headache worse. A curse on whichever mage decided staves couldn't work on the caster.

Well, it's not all bad. The tent doesn't leak, at least. (Pheraen material) And Erk's brought me a few pills the tacticians gave him. The headache is going away as I write.

In any case, the other members of Team Eliwood (Yes, that's what Lord Eliwood calls us) are… interesting, to say the least.

Marcus is the paladin I saw the other day. He's a soldier from Pherae, and while not exactly senile, he's fast getting there.

Lowen: is the army cook. But he has a slight eyesight problem. He just dumped a vat of sugar into the stew we're having for supper. And Erk says he's famished. I feel sorry for the poor guy. (Erk, not Lowen)

Rebecca is my roomie. She okay, I guess. Aside from the fact that she giggles once every, I dunno, two seconds? She claims to be pretty good with a bow for hunting, but the only thing she came close to hitting today was Mariel. And I wasn't too happy about that.

Dorcas is… well, he's big. And quiet. Not a lot to say about him, really.

I'm not too sure about the axefighter called Bartre, but he seems to think that rocks are a food staple. Either that or he uses it for target practice. With his head, not his axe. Me and Serra (more on her later) have made a pact not to heal him until he stops doing that. He just collapsed outside my tent. I don't want to know.

Oswin is a knight of Ostia, and he's calm and coolheaded. Finally, a Lycian that isn't half insane.

Matthew is the guy with the red cloak that I saw in Ostia. He's wandering around stealing things. I swear, if he steals my Mend stave ONE more time, I'll beat the living daylight out of him. Or maybe I'll just get Erk to do it.

Serra **WILL NOT SHUT UP**. Seriously. I've been stuck in this tent the whole day, and the only time she's not talking is when she's unconscious or catching her breath. And whenever she walks by, Erk pales noticeably. What's that all about? I'll have to ask him about it later.

Guy keeps to himself, from what I see. But he's pretty touchy about anyone trying to touch his Killing Edge. He and Matthew… don't get along.

Merlinus is this merchant that Lord Eliwood and Hector picked up a few days back.

Hannah is, well… a fortune teller. Not much on her, really.

And that's not even the people in charge of this army. Oh, no.

_Lord_ Eliwood is a Pheraen noble. He's snappy, is generally not liked by the army, and has debatable fighting skills. (The debate is not how much he has, but whether he has any whatsoever.)

Lord Hector was the guy I saw with the axe in Ostia. He seems sane, but he's got a little anger problem.

And the tacticians directing the army are brother and sister. They're friendly enough, but they like to keep to themselves. Oh, and the younger brother isn't wearing that cape anymore.

John and Cass - technically, their full names are Johnathan and Cassandra, but they feel it takes too long to yell out in the heat of battle. Either way, they're the ones directing this army, not to mention all that's keeping the crew from hanging Lord Jellywood (hey, I made a funny. Fits his endurance levels, though.) by his underwear.

And that's it for tonight, I'm going to sleep. Assuming that I can get some shuteye with Serra and Rebecca refusing to keep quiet, of course.

- Priscilla

* * *

Day 22

Weather: Cloudy

Location: Camp

Well, I _wanted_ to ask Erk about Serra today, but something weird happened.

"_Erk?" Priscilla called as she rounded a tent and caught sight of him. "Could I-"_

_Erk glanced up from the tome he was studying. "Ah, Lady Priscilla! Are you all right?"_

_Priscilla smiled. Erk always seemed concerned for her wellbeing. "I am fine. Thank you for checking on me."_

"_Not at all! It is my duty!" He replied calmly. He then paused for a second. "Are you… tired?"_

_Priscilla's smile turned quizzical. "No… no, I'm quite fine, really._"

_Erk nodded, seemingly processing this. Then he spoke up again. "And your feet, are they weary? Are your shoulders tense?"_

_Priscilla frowned slightly as she wondered where this was going. "They're fine… really!"_

_Erk almost seemed to be going down a mental list of concerns. "Is your belly full? Is your throat dry? Are sleepy? Bored?"_

_Getting more puzzled by the minute, Priscilla finally raised a hand to stop Erk in the middle of his questions. "Um… Erk?" She said with a questioning look on her face._

_Erk blinked, then seemed to regain some sense of where he was. "Ah… yes, sorry." He said with an embarrassed smile. "It's hard for me to break old habits." Then, under his breath, he added. "Especially when that pink-haired demon has returned and brought back a flood of repressed memories I do NOT need."_

"_Eh? What was that?"_

"_Oh… nothing. It's just… my last lord was a very willful child, you see. He would call me over the slightest things... But that is past now, of course. (Thank heavens.)"_

"_I see…" Priscilla said slowly. Then, hesitantly, she asked. "Should… I be asking you to do more, then?"_

_Erk smiled and shook his head. "Oh, no, no… this is just fine."_

"_Erk! Come over and give me a hand, would you?" _

"_Coming, John. If you'll excuse me, Lady Priscilla?" Erk questioned as he stood._

"_Of course." She replied as he bowed dutifully, before turning and heading towards the male tactician._

I wonder what was that all about. Anyway, I didn't get to ask him about Serra. I will soon, though.

In other news, Lord Hector discovered a tomato in his backpack, and Matthew made a special request to bunk with us for the night.

-Priscilla

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	3. Days 23 to 26

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yet.

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Day 23

Weather: WHO CARES!

Location: The camp, duh!

I HATE THIS STUPID CAMP, I HATE ELIWOOD, AND I HATE YOU TOO! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART JUST BECAUSE I WRITE IN YOU! HUH? WELL? DO YOU?

I HATE REBECCA AND I HATE SERRA BECAUSE THEY WON'T _SHUT UP_! AND LOWEN'S COOKING SUCKS! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE COOK! THINK AGAIN, BUDDY!

FLUX YOU ALL!

-Priscilla (YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!)

* * *

Day 24

Weather: Rainy last night, cloudy this morning

Location: Camp, on the outskirts of Laus

Ugh, I hate PMS. I woke up this morning to find Erk tied to the tent supports and looking none too happy about it. According to him, after Matthew took one look at me, he decided to try his chances with Lord Hector.

Serra and Rebecca don't seem to have noticed any change whatsoever. (Other than the fact that Erk was in the tent. Serra was trying to find her makeup kit when I woke up and Erk was screaming bloody murder.)

The day went downhill from there.

After untying Erk, I apologized profusely to him, but he waved me off and went outside.

Then Lowen accidentally burnt breakfast (I'm not very sure how he managed to burn cornflakes), and Matthew was found up a tree and refusing to go down until Lord Hector wasn't anywhere in the general vicinity.

Meanwhile, Lord Jellywood was practicing his swordsplay and he nearly stabbed Cass who had been napping in the shade of a tree. She kicked dirt in his face and stormed back to the tactician's tent.

At the same time, I decided to go off to find Erk. I guess I felt I needed to apologize to him. On the way out, I heard Serra asking Hector for a raise because "all the healing is tiring work". Right, whatever.

I found Erk sitting by the lake, and well, let's just say he accepted my apology. Or at least he says he did. Well, that's one good thing today, I suppose.

We got back to the camp in time to see Rebecca practicing her archery skills. So far she's managed to shoot:

A tent peg

Lowen's cookbook

An unlucky fly

Matthew. (I had to heal him 'cause Serra's too busy bugging Lord Hector for a raise)

A pig. (I'm not very sure if this counts as 'hunting', because Lowen had just pulled it out of the oven)

This isn't really very good, considering she was originally aiming for a tree not ten yards in front of her.

Hector (_he's_ not stuck up about people calling him lord and all that) just told us to get a good night's sleep because we're heading for Caelin tomorrow at first light. Finally. I was beginning to think we were going to get stuck in Laus forever! And hopefully we'll get to see House Cornwell too.

Although, with what I've seen of Lycians so far, I'm slightly worried about what _they'll_ be like. And Raymond too. He always was such a sweet brother. I hope he's alright.

Ah, I'll worry about it when I get there.

- Priscilla

* * *

Day 25

Weather: Sunny

Location: Caelin outskirts

Good news. The tacticians offered to share their tents with me and Erk. I've seen them, and they're _huge_. Almost as large as Merlinus' storage tent. Apparently they can fit up to six people in there without any cramping.

There are only three tents like that in the whole camp, and the tacticians share one. Lord Hector shares his with Matthew and Oswin, and _Lord_ Jellywood has the last one to himself. He offered to share it with Rebecca, but he withdrew the offer after she accidentally shot him in the foot.

Back on topic, they felt it was a waste of having such a large tent with only two people, and they offered to hold me and Erk with them as well. I suppose having a larger tent (and getting away from Serra) isn't all bad, but… how am I supposed to share a tent with two guys? I guess it'll work out somehow…

In other news, Oswin and Marcus went out on a scouting expedition and told us that Laus troops are near the castle, and we probably won't reach them in time. Well, Marcus told us. Oswin hasn't made it back yet. I think that armor of his may be a tad _too_ heavy.

It's now late night and Guy and Matthew are alternating watches for any sign of enemies (and Oswin). The tacticians are digging through maps of Castle Caelin and trying to decide which side is best to assault it with. The ruled out an aerial attack (mainly because we have no flying units), and they are currently debating the merits of tunneling under the castle.

As for me and Erk, well…

_Erk glared at Priscilla. "I will destroy you, Priscilla. Annihilate you. Crush you. Drain your body of every single drop of blood as I squeeze the life out of you, then slowly rend your body, and scatter the remaining ashes to the wind. I will destroy you utterly, body, heart, and spirit. You such suffer unimaginable torment at my hands."_

_BEEP! Player 2 wins!_

"_Woohoo!" Priscilla cheered as she pumped her fist in the air in a gesture of victory. "I win again! That's, what, a hundred wins in a row?"_

"… _If you breathe one word of this to the others."_

"_Yeah, yeah." Priscilla smiled. "Ready to get owned again? I can use Marth this time if you want."_

"_I'll pass, thanks."_

Yeah. The tacticians have all sorts of weird gadgets in the tent. Apparently, there's this big black box, and if you hook it up to a bigger black box, the bigger black box will light up and you can play games on it. Right now we're playing something called Super Smash Brothers Melee, and the redhead I've been using looks rather familiar for some reason. He almost looks like Lord Eli- Nah, this guy is actually _decent_ at fighting.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 27

Weather: Sunny

Location: Outside Castle Caelin

We're here! Castle Caelin! And the warriors of Team Eliwood (I still can't say that with a straight face) have stormed it, beating all the forces of Laus, and restoring law and order! Uh, not really. In fact, no. We've been stuck outside for two hours doing nothing.

Why, you ask? Good question. I think it has something to do with the fact that Laus hasn't shown up yet. Just me, though. Bartre has developed a theory that we've become vegetables without knowing, and thus, we're currently unable to move. Only he didn't say vegetables. Big words make his head hurt, see. (But apparently smashing rocks with it doesn't). He referred to us as "green eat things".

Oswin showed up five minutes back. He says that he spent the better part of the night trying to track us down. When asked how he finally managed to find us by John, he replied he followed a trail of tomatoes. At that time, Matthew suddenly seemed very interested with his boots.

Lord Jellywood told us to be on high alert the entire morning, and when it was clear that no one was coming, he told us to go on guard duty, and that he'd drawn up a roster.

When Erk commented that the roster didn't include himself, Lord Eliwood replied that due to the necessity of maximizing his battle prowess, he would be spending time in his tent rebuilding his strength (i.e. sleeping throughout the afternoon).

Lowen just put salt in Eliwood's canteen. Good for him.

As for our 'guard duty', Hector and the tacticians overrode that order after Eliwood went to his tent. We're currently playing chess.

Later, diary.

-Priscilla

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Short chapter, I know. Please review! 


	4. Days 28 to 34

I don't own this.

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Day 28

Weather: Cloudy

Location: Outside Castle Caelin

Laus showed up around five hours back. Finally, that's all I can say. Most of them headed off to the castle, but a couple stopped by to chat with us. I don't think they realized that we (or at least the others) were the ones who trashed them back in Laus.

"_Hey, sweet thing!" The soldier called. "How 'bout you and me get together sometime, eh?"_

"_Can't you see I'm busy?" Serra snapped in reply. "Why are you bothering me?"_

"_Not you. The redhead over there!"_

"_Not again…" Priscilla groaned._

Are all Laus men perverts? Marquess Darin, then Erik, and now common soldiers. Wow. Each canton of Lycia has it's own brand of retards.

Oh, wait. That wasn't in keeping with my "ladylike" training. Well, flux that. I'm in a bad mood after that soldier tried to chat me up.

In any case, Erk had a 'talk' with him, and the soldier left to join the rest of his army extra-crispy. That boy loves to use his Thunder tome way too much, and Serra is fuming because he wanted to talk to me instead of her.

Look, Serra, if it's any consolation, I'm not too thrilled about that either, alright?

We can't attack Laus yet because technically, they haven't invaded anything so far. They're still arguing with the Castle Caelin doorman over entrance fees. That isn't stopping Eliwood, though. He ran off yelling about how he'd save all of Caelin by himself. Then an archer manning a ballista spotted him.

At the rate we're going, we'll have to send Eliwood home in a box.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 29

Weather: Sunny

Location: Outside Castle Caelin

Okay, we've started fighting.

About ten minutes back, a Pegasus Knight named Florina landed nearby, telling us that the castle's been captured, and that Lady Lyndis is waiting for the right moment to retake it.

Erk seems to know who Lady Lyndis is, and merely raised an eyebrow. I asked him about it and he told me he helped her out once. Against his will, mostly.

So now we're trying to hook up with Lyndis and her soldiers, while beating back the Laus forces. Fat hope of that.

I'll write while I can later.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 30

Weather: Hot. Very, very hot.

Location: Outside Castle Caelin

I have just one question. Not a very big one, but it's a question all the same.

I am a healer, right? And thus, I cannot fight, right? And thus, my primary purpose is to hang around the back of the army where I'll be safe and can heal the fighters when need comes, right?

So what in St. Elimine's name inspired Eliwood to stick me guarding Merlinus' tent? Alone, no less. The conversation went something like this, concerning his decision.

"_Right." John said authoritatively. "Hector will cover the flanks. Matthew, Guy, stick with Florina. Handle any axe-users that she can't. Oswin, you'll join Eliwood and Lowen for the main charge. Try to take the hits, seeing as Red here falls over if a feather tickles him."_

"_Oh, yeah." Eliwood butted in. "I want Priscilla staying back to guard Merlinus."_

"_No can do, Eli." John replied. "Erk needs to bring up the rear."_

"_Who said anything about Erk? She should guard him alone." This statemen immediately illciited a roar of protests from the group._

"_Excuse me, WHAT did you say?" John sputtered."_

"_I'm her escort! I have to stay with her!" Erk protested._

"_Are you kidding?" Cass demanded. "She can't fight!"_

"_She's not supposed to **fight**." Eliwood said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "She's supposed to heal him."_

_You could have heard a pin drop onto velvet carpeting._

So now I'm stuck by the tent, and I can see the others fighting by the cliff. Erk's doing well, Hector is doing well, Oswin is doing well, and Eliwood… is tied to a tree, while John dusts off his hands.

"_Next time you try to take on a Knight by yourself again, it's going to be much, **much **worse." The tactician snapped as he walked away._

… … …I don't want to know.

In any case, there's no enemies around, so maybe I'll-

(bloodstain)

(bloodstain)

(Long red smear of blood over page)

* * *

Day 30

Weather: Don't know, don't care

Location: Not hell. That's a good thing. Outside Castle Caelin

Ow. Ow. Ow. It hurts to talk. It hurts to move. It hurts to think, come to think of it.

I was sitting there waiting for the battle to finish, when a bunch of Cavaliers rode up. Apparently they got lost and the leader refused to ask for directions.

Then they spotted me and I don't remember a whole lot else except pain. Lots of pain.

John sounded the retreat while Cass carried me back to the tent. Erk is freaking out because he failed his duty, Hector is grumpy because we had to retreat, Eliwood is… nothing, because we left him tied to the tree, and Bartre is smashing rocks. With his head. Again.

Erk got some more pills from Cass. They're supposed to deaden nerves or something so I don't feel the pain. I just took some, and now I'm feeling kinda drowsy.

John just stuck his head in and told me

Day 31

* * *

Weather: Cloudy

Location: Outside Castle Caelin, around a campfire

This is turning out to be a bad week for finishing entries, all in all. Those pills, coupled (more or less) with all my injuries, made me fall asleep halfway through writing.

No big deal, as it turns out. John's made a deal with Laus (involving a small blue… thing that lights up when you flick a switch, and you can play games on it. Frankly, a lot of things that John owns involves lighting up and letting you play games on them). They won't attack for the week, so my wounds can heal.

No word from Lady Lyndis yet. According to Florina, she was in the forest when she left, and a pair of knights, not to mention an archer, was with her. I'm guessing she'll be alright.

We finally untied Lord Jellywood. Needless to say, he's a bit sore about it.

"_How could you even **think** of doing that to me?" He ranted. "I'm your leader!"_

"_Save the theatrics, Red." John mumbled wearily. "If it makes you feel any better, consider it repayment for getting Priscilla the way she is now."_

"_She has a broken arm, I'll have you know." Erk chimed in. "It has to be set in a cast, and it won't be healed for a while."_

"_So?" Eliwood demanded imperiously. "If she can't defend herself, how is she of any use to the army? She might as well leave!"_

_There was a long sigh from Erk and John as the two turned to look at each other._

_Five minutes later…_

"_Untie me!" Eliwood roared. "I demand to be set free this instant!"_

"_Whaddya know?" Cass said conversationally as she glanced heavenward. "It's starting to rain. Guess we'd better get inside, huh, John?"_

Ordinarily, I wouldn't leave anyone out in the rain like this, but… I can't say it doesn't give me some satisfaction to see someone pay for my injuries. (Especially seeing as he's the indirect cause of it in the first place).

Great. When I get back to the Castle Carleon, I'll have to be retaught everything I learnt of lady-like behavior. I'm already dreading it.

Elsewhile, Cass's reshuffling the battle roster. I'm supposed to go up with Erk to guard the flank. Hector goes up front and Eliwood and Oswin bring up the rear.

Oh, I can't _wait_.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 32

Weather: Sunny

Location: Tactician's tent

Still no fighting. It's not been a week yet, so it's understandable, I suppose.

Enh, Erk's been stopping by every few minutes to check on me. I appreciate his concern… but he's on guard duty, and this considering our current situation, this isn't really the best time…

Oh, and the fact that I'm trying to write in this thing and keep getting interrupted is slightly annoying.

I think he has an unhealthy obsession with me.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 33

Weather: Sunny

Locaion: Outside Castle Caelin

Well, we finally met up with Lady Lyndis' group today. She wants us to call her Lyn, though.

Introductions were… interesting. Especially concerning Eliwood.

"_Whew." The green-haired swordswoman declared. "Carving our way through those Mercenaries and Brigands was **not** my idea of a good time."_

"_It appears we've broken out, though." Commented a red-haired Cavalier. "We can see the castle now."_

"_Wait, who are those guys?" An archer inquired as he pointed towards us._

"_Reinforcements!" The green-haired cavalier exulted. "A stroke of luck indeed. And there are beautiful women with them!"_

"_Hang on a tick…" Lyndis said as she walked over. "Erk? Matthew? Is that you?"_

"_Huh? Uh, no. Nope. Definitely not. Negative. No way. Not. Never. Um… bye." Matthew said as he hid behind a tree._

"_He owes her money." Erk said by way of explanation to a befuddled Priscilla._

"_Ah."_

"_Lady Lyndis? It is good to see you well."_

"_Well, thanks, you too… but… what are you doing here?"_

_Erk sighed. "Well, I'm not very sure how I ended up in this mess, but we're here to fight fir Caelin." He jerked a thumb in Eliwood's direction. "He's leading us. Theoretically, anyway."_

"_Him?" Lyn questioned. Then her eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute… that guy… he's the one who tried to hit on me back in Kathelet!" Her eyes took on a decidedly crimson glow._

"_All right, Lady Priscilla?" Erk whispered. "I suggest we back off for now."_

News flash: Lyn doesn't like being hit on. Eliwood learnt that after having his kidney relocated somewhere in his gullet.

Oh, and Caelin holds true to Lycia's tradition of having people with issues.

Kent was the red Cavalier. He's… well… a stickler for rules. And I don't mean important ones. He just started ranting at Wil (the archer) for using a cup without a coaster.

Sain is the green Cavalier. As if Laus wasn't bad enough, this guy's making passes at every girl he meets. That includes me. He, uh… insists on calling me Princess. I'm not very sure how to respond to that.

Wil's the archer, and he's originally from Pherae. He's hyper. And unlike Rebecca, he can aim. Bonus.

Lyndis is… Well, she's a tomboy. Nothing wrong with that, really. Unless you happen to take it to extremes. (like she does). She insists on sharing the tent with Hector, and she accidentally glomped him earlier this afternoon when they were having a nap. At least she _says_ it was an accident…

Kent just yelled at me for writing in my diary when we were supposed to be resting. _What_ is this guy's problem? I'm guessing an unhappy childhood or he's been out in the sun too long.

My arm's almost healed, (Erk blew his payment from me on vulneraries, so I'm recovering faster) and John thinks I can return to the frontlines tomorrow.I can't _wait_.

In any case, I guess I need to get some shut-eye, so, later, diary.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 34

Weather: Sunny

Location: Castle Caelin Gardens

I don't believe it. We did it. We actually won a battle. Team Eliwood actually won a battle.

John sent Sain and Kent to guard Merlinus' tent, and the rest of us moved up. Erk says hi with his newly acquired Fire tome too.

In any case, we managed to handle ourselves well enough that we didn't need to retreat to let someone heal. But I'm currently exhausted because Serra's sitting out this one, and thus, I'm the only healer.

It went well until we faced up against Bauker. Nice name. But he's gotta lose the moustache.

"_Ha!" Bauker crowed. "A ragtag lot like you want to challenge me? You cannot win!"_

"_Yeah, yeah." Hector rolled his eyes. "Like we've never heard all this before."_

_Eliwood quickly darted in front of Hector. "Bauker! I will punish your crimes! With one stab of my mighty Rapier, I will-"_

_Hector backhanded Eliwood, quickly knocking him out. "You got anything to say before I smash you?"_

"_Yes." Bauker retorted angrily. "Your mother is fat!"_

"…_My mother is dead." Hector replied._

"_Oh. I guess that's why she didn't move around too much. Haha, BURN!" Bauker crowed._

"…" _The grip on Hector's axe tightened and he took a step forward._

"_Haha, man that was awes – hey, hey, what are you doing?"_

Can't say he didn't have it coming. Cass brought chairs and we settled down to watch the show.

"_And he opens with left hook across the jaw! And then Hector follows it with a knee to the gut!"_

"_Bauker's struggling! Fall back, man! He's not defending at all!"_

"_Go, Hector!" Wil cheered._

"_You rock!" Matthew cried._

"_And… oh! Oh! What's he doing?"_

"_No way! It can't be… but it is!"_

"_IT'S THE CHAIR!"_

**_Crash_!**

"_How could the ref no SEE that?"_

"_You know, you were right." Priscilla mentioned to Erk. "This is better with commentary."_

"_I'm always right." Erk replied. "More popcorn?"_

"_Don't mind if I do."_

"_AUUGGAAHH!" Bauker howled. "Stop it! My leg doesn't bend that way!"_

**SNAP**

"_It does now!" Hector snapped._

"_And now he's doing the Hector Hold!" John said breathlessly._

"_No one's EVER broken out of the Hector Hold!"_

"_Now THAT's gotta be painful." Erk said as he winced._

"_How do you figure?" Priscilla asked as she turned to him._

"_Any position where you can see your own back isn't going to be pretty."_

"_Good point."_

Anyway, a couple hours later, he finished, and we all entered Castle Caelin.

"_Jolly smashing of you to come and rescue us from all those invading chaps." The doorman said. "However, you'll need 300 gold per person to cover the entrance fee, old boy."_

_The entire company silently brandished the weapons they were most proficient in. Well, except Prisiclla, who basically hung around the back of the party and hoped no one she knew would spot her in this group._

"_Ooh… uh, wow! I just realized it's my birthday! Everyone goes in free!" That said, he dashed off while evading a Hand Axe chucked in his general direction._

… Right.

Eliwood, Hector and Lyn are standing around with John and Cass over what to do next. If it's anything like the time they get into an argument, it'll take a day at least.

Which is good, because I'm pooped from all the healing.

Good night, diary.

-Priscilla

* * *

Author's notes: I don't really hate Eliwood. Thought you might want to know that, but every humor fic needs a fall guy. 


	5. Days 35 to 40

Priscilla's Diary

* * *

The Nintendo Wii. Just… ugh.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Day 35

Weather: Sunny

Location: Castle Caelin gardens

Number of attempts to retake Castle Caelin: 23

Number of failures to retake Castle Caelin: 23

Number of successes in retaking Castle Caelin: 0

We are an unhappy bunch, because Laus has covered the entire entrance with archers. This wouldn't be a problem… except that Eliwood wants Florina to lead the advance.

Armed with a Steel Lance, no less. The poor lass looks like a pincushion now.

Lyn is busy arguing with Eliwood over the fact that Florina and enemy archers don't make a good equation. Eliwood snapped that his decision was final and not to be changed.

Then John tied him to a pillar and told the Laus archers that they could take potshots at him for fifty gold per quiver of arrows.

Whoa.25,000 gold in one hour. He has a magnetic personality. And I mean that in the sense that he repels everything on the same pole as him.

Elsewhile, Sain has been flirting shamelessly with me. Either that or flirting shamelessly with Rebecca. Or flirting shamelessly with Serra. Nice to know he has a wide range of interests.

Bartre seems to believe that the entire Castle is one big rock, and has thus been dealing with it his normal way. (i.e. Smashing it with his head. Or trying to.) After the fifteenth blow, he experienced a severe form of epileptic seizure, and when he woke up he seemed utterly convinced that Dorcas was his mother. Dorcas has run screaming into the garden maze (yes, all castles appear to have garden mazes. Useless things.) and hasn't been seen since.

Erk, meanwhile, has lost his Goddess Icon, and is searching high and low for it. I think Matthew has something to do with it.

"_Matthew?"_ _Priscilla asked as she walked up. "I need-"_

"_YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!" He snapped, causing the surprised troubadour to take a half step back._

"_I… what?"_ _Opting to go for the confused response, Priscilla shook her head and looked dubiously at the red-cloaked thief._

"_You think I stole Erk's Goddess Icon, don't you? Huh? Huh? But you can't prove anything, so STOP making baseless accusations!"_

_Priscilla shook her head and handed a rolled-up scroll to Matthew. "I, uh, was sent by Cass to give you this battle plan…"_

"…_Oh._ _Uh, thanks, I guess." Matthew said as he pocketed the plan. "Oh, yeah, and I didn't steal anything!" He finished as he ran off._

Just a hunch, though.

Well, we're gearing up for our new attack, so, I'll write later. If I survive. Which, under Eliwood's questionable leading skills, I'm not too sure about.

What's with my vocabulary today?

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 36

Weather: Unknown

Location: Castle Caelin Entrance Hall

Well, we made _some_ progress. We're stuck in the hall and can't get any further because Matthew is trying to convince Lyn that looting the castle of its treasures is an acceptable thing, in lieu of the fact that it's under enemy control.

But that's not what I came to say. Write. Whatever.

The Physics of Elibe: Twirling your weapon around before attacking triples it's momentum.

Florina, Oswin, and Sain all learnt that today when they took on the archers. Kent is freaking out because it's going to take forever to clear of out the bloodstains when they regain control of the Castle, but that's another story.

After watching this, Jellywood ordered us to always twirl our weapons around before we attack, and poor Erk has no idea how he's supposed to twirl a book and chant from it at the same time. Eliwood even wanted me to twirl my staff around before I healed anyone.

Oh, yeah. After trying to do that himself with his Rapier, Eliwood succeeded in stabbing himself in the foot. John and Cass have formed a committee to discuss whether or not it hurt three times as much as other times when he stabbed himself normally.

After a lengthy discussion, Lyn has finally allowed Matthew to walk over and grab the treasure from the side room. Then he ran into a shaman. So John sent the closest fighter to deal with him. Which just so happened to be my loyal escort.

Did I mention Anima magic is weak to Dark magic?

_Blasts of dark magic surged through the air, causing Matthew to dodge frantically. The source of these dark spells, a shaman standing in the alcoves, laughed evilly as more and more shadowy orbs began to fill the air._

_Just then, a thunder spell intersected with one of the dark blasts, negating the spell slightly. "Why do I get stuck fighting the dark magic users?" Erk grumped as he prepared to chant his next spell from the tome he was carrying._

"_Don't forget to twirl it!" Yup. Eliwood again._

_Erk_ _paused only long enough to shoot Eliwood a look of disbelief before turning back to the battle at hand. Meanwhile, Matthew had used the convenient distraction to enter the treasure room._

_The Shaman grinned and started chanting slowly, gathering darkness unto himself. Erk, meanwhile, started trying to flip his book around."_

"_Um…?" The Shaman paused and lowered a hand to look at the spectacle before him. Meanwhile, gave up on doing it normally and started tossing his book into the air in the hope that it would do a three-sixty._

_This process continued for approximately a minute before the shaman began getting bored. "I don't have time to play around!" He snapped, and raised his arm again. A surge of darkness erupted from the ground, sending Erk flying._

"_I suppose I should inform you that my next strike will finish you, while at your current power, who cannot defeat me in less than three hits." The shaman taunted as Erk struggled to his feet._

"_If that's how it ends, I will go down fighting!" Erk shot back in reply._

"_Be my guest." The shaman folded his arms. "Show me the power of your Anima magic, boy."_

"_Thun- Hey, wha?" The chant was left unfinished as Erk spun around, apparently not of his own volition. He then proceeded to throw his arms out a couple of times, twirled once more, and finally cast thunder._

_**KRACKA BLAM!**_

"_You have GOT to be kidding me." The shaman mumbled before collapsing._

AnywayMatthew is now the proud owner of an Unlock staff and a Hero Crest. John, after checking through the maps, decided to continue the attack tomorrow, and in the meantime, he posted lookouts.

So, I guess I'll get some sleep, then.

-Priscilla

Edit: After watching the fight (and doing nothing whatsoever to help), Eliwood now wants us to spins around and flip our arms out twice before attacking. We flipped him _something_, all right.

* * *

Day 37

Weather: Unknown, we're stuck in the castle

Location: Like I said, stuck in castle.

We made it into the main hallway today. Yippee.

Oh, and Lyn is pretty good with a sword. She managed to take out a Knight on her own.

Matthew is sulking because Cass made him give me the Unlock staff. It's not like I have any idea what I'm supposed to use it for.

Anyhow, this is a summary of what today's battle ended up like:

Hector is beating the snot out of everything in a ten-mile radius.

Erk is setting everything he can find on fire.

Guy is slicing everything he meets into sushi.

Eliwood is… getting acquainted head-on with Mr. Wall.

And that Laus Knight is the current mediator between Jellywood and said wall.

Yup, everything's all peachy. John is complaining about having to set up tents inside a freakin' castle, and is asking Wil about the location of the bedrooms. Wil doesn't remember very well, but he's certain it's located within the castle.

John just punched Wil in the face and stormed off. Great, our only decent archer is now sulking and refuses to fight. We have to replace him with Rebecca-

Uh, we've got a bunch of knights rushing us. John told me to hang back and deal with injuries later, and frankly, I think Rebecca's going to need my staves.

_Rebecca took careful aim with her bow, fired… and missed completely._

_Again._

"_I'm amazed you haven't run out of arrows yet." Priscilla said in a bored voice. "Why don't we let Erk handle it? His magic spells-"_

"_I can do this!"_

"_Fine, whatever."_ _Priscilla said as she threw her arms into the air. "I'm going over there."_

_Rebecca, meanwhile, took careful aim with her bow, fired… and missed completely._

_Again._

(After about an hour of this, we cast lots to figure out who got to kill the idiot knights. Not too difficult, 'cuz they just stood there laughing at Rebecca. Turns out Sain got the lucky number)

"_Just watch me, ladies!" Sain crowed as he lifted his Heavy Spear. "Marvel at my physique!"_

_He urged his horse into a gallop, charged the nearest knight, and slammed headfirst into a low hanging doorway._

_Priscilla sighed and walked over to heal Sain while Erk ran out of patience and summoned a raging firestorm on the knights._

Well, _that's_ done with.

Oh, and Dorcas found his way back. He had to use his axe to chop through the garden maze before he found his way out. I hate those things.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 38

Weather: Dunno

Location: Castle Caelin

Joy, I have just met more psychotic Lycians, both of whom leave no doubt in my mind that I will be shipping back to Etruria at first opportunity.

Want to know something? One of the two psychos is my brother. Yay?

And the other psycho, meanwhile, is my brother's retainer or something like that. He… she… um, 'it' is skilled in Light magic. Dear brother Raymond is still using swords.

Just to give you a mental picture of how screwed up he is, I'll pull back my earliest memory of him, a couple of days before I left for Etruria

"_Hey, bro!"_ _Prisicilla said. "Whatcha doing?"_

"_Look at this, sis." He smiled as he held up a tiny butterfly. "Beautiful, isn't it?"_

"_Wow…" Priscilla said as she stared at the delicate creature, eyes wide._

"_Things like these… they're to be cherished, sis. Don't you agree?"_

And the Raymond just I met now:

"_Tell me where the fluxing exit is, you dirtbag!" Raymond snapped as he punched a soldier in the face._

"_Ow… my… spleen…"_

_Raymond kicked the soldier aside and raised a sword in the air. "I rock!"_

I was going to hide and pretend I never met him, but then he came up to me.

"_You…"_

"_You don't know me!" Priscilla blurted out as she tried to hide._

"_You don't remember me?"_

"_Right._ _I don't know you, so, uh, please leave. Now. Please?"_

"_It's not really surprising." Raymond continued as if Priscilla hadn't said anything. "You were so young when you left…"_

"_Um, hello?_ _Don't know you? Never did?"_ _Priscilla continued in a desperate attempt to wiggle out of this situation._

"_It's been a long time, Priscilla." Raymond continued._

"_Lady Priscilla? You're needed at the front." Erk said as he walked up. "Jellywood's in trouble again."_

_Raymond punched Erk in the face. "Shut up. I'm talking."_

"…_Charming friend of yours."_ _Erk commented as he rubbed his sore cheek. Meanwhile, Raymond turned back to dealing with Priscilla._

"_Okay, I'll agree to travel with you, but I have several conditions."_

"_But… I don't WANT you to travel with me…"_

"_First, I'm not to be called Raymond anymore. I'm called Raven now, 'cuz that sounds a lot cooler and angstier. Second, Lucius over there follows me wherever I go, so you have to accept him. Third, when I get around to bloodily dismembering that Hector person for the slaughter and destruction of House Cornwell, you're not supposed to scream or anything._

"_Slaughter and destruction of WHAT?"_ _Priscilla blurted out._

"_Oh, right. And we can't let them know we're brother and sister."_

_Erk_ _walked back up. "Seriously, Lady Priscilla, we need you. Eliwood's getting each of his fingers tied into intricate knots."_

"_And who's this?" Raven asked suspiciously._

"_Oh, that. I came from Etruria to find my family, and the Mage General there provided and escort for me protection…"_

_Raven grabbed Erk by the collar. "You have not dishonoured my sister's name by touching her, have you?"_

"_Your… sister?" Erk managed._

"_Oh, er… right. Forget I said anything." Raven mumbled before he walked off._

_Erk_ _reached for Mariel's reins. "Anyway, we really should be off, Lady Pris-"_

"_I SAID DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!"_

It's just me, but something tells me the fact that we're blood relatives isn't going to be kept secret for long.

Oh, and Lucius is scaring me. Our first encounter with him went something like this:

"_Alright, he's healed." Priscilla said tiredly as she stepped back from the comatose form of Lord Eliwood._

"_A nice shimmy Hammer."_ _Hector grinned as he patted his newfound weapon. "Nary a knight could ask for more."_

"_Thrillsville."_ _Erk deadpanned._ _Around him lay the battered and burnt forms of various Laus soldiers._

_Then the voice._ "_Omigawd! This place is so totally icky!"_

_Priscilla glanced up suspiciously. "Who?"_

"_I… I know that voice." Erk stammered. "Please, please, please, don't let it be-"_

"_Is that you, Erky!" Lucius appeared around the corner, beaming. "You look fabulous! Well, except for you hair. We really should get it properly styled up."_

"_Can it possibly get any worse?" Erk demanded of a sadistic universe._

"_He's with me." Raven said._

"_I'll take that as a yes." Erk mumbled sorely before huddling into a ball and weeping._

So thanks to some person with gender issues, my dear escort is incapacitated.

And Guy and Raven (I still think it's a dumbass name, BTW) have this weird relationship going on. My dear brother hasn't been in the army for five minutes and he's alienated two people already. Freakin' wonderful.

"_So, you think you're good with that blade of yours?"_

"_Good? Try phenomenal!"_

"_Want to put those skills to the test?"_

"_Bring it on, red! One day killing spree, whoever gets the most, wins!"_

"_Go!"_

This just in -We can't go any further because Hector got lost somewhere in the castle and Lyn and Eliwood are out looking for him. Sigh.

Rebecca's taking the quiet time for some extra shooting practice. Cass has managed to convince her that using Florina for said practice would not only be self-defeating, it'd scare her out of ten year's growth rates.

Yes, I'm aware that didn't make any sense. Bite me. Or bite Cass, she said it.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 39

Weather: Heck would I know?

Location: Castle Caelin treasure room V.2

Who takes 12 hours to go to a bathroom? Hector does, not counting the fact he locked himself in. When Lyn found him she nearly fainted from laughter.

In other news, Guy and dear brother Raven's twenty minutes has somehow morphed into an entire day. And the best part? As far as they can total, it's a tie.

"_Five thousand, one hundred and twelve._ _Beat that!"_

_Raven grinned. "Exactly the same as you. Only I fought knights. You took on lowly cavaliers."_

"_Cavaliers are faster than knights!"_

"_Guys?"_ _Matthew chimed in. He was ignored._

"_So? Knights have higher defense!"_

"_As if that means anything when you can't dodge!"_

"_Guys…"_

"_And cavaliers are lightning fast, I suppose?"_

"_They're tougher than knights, for sure!"_

"_Conjecture like that –"_

"_GUYS!"_ _Matthew snapped._

"_What?" Guy and Raven responded in unision._

"_Laus doesn't have a force of three-hundred total… how the flippin' heck did you each get over five thousand kills?"_

"_Well, uh… you're a communist!" Raven snapped before punching Matthew and storming off._

Nice to know my dear brother has been practicing his diplomatic skills.

Oh, and Erk's in a bit of a bind. Seems he met Lucius in his earlier journey with Lyn, and Lucius is now convinced that Erk is not only his best friend, he's someone he can share his deepest feelings with.

Which basically boils down to Lucius ranting about how Lord Raven is so stingy he won't let Lucius by this one brand of hair gel and his hair is now quite positively ruined. Erk is trying his utmost to stay awake, but it's a losing battle. Poor guy.

Anyway, we're supposed to be finishing our retaking of Castle Caelin today or tomorrow, so, wish us luck!

Lord knows Team Eliwood needs it.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 40

Weather: Sunny

Location: Castle Caelin Gardens

Yay. We made it out alive. And we beat Bernard too.

After all the ridiculous fights and the endless battles to reach the throne, the whole thing was rather anticlimactic.

"_I am Bernard! Knight Commander of Laus! I would test the might of those who bested Bauker!"_

_Hector grinned and lifted his Wolf Beil into a fighting position. "You're going down."_

"_Bring it!"_

"_HYAA!"_ _Hector let out a war cry as he chopped down with his Wolf Beil._

"_Pah! A mere flesh wound!" Bernard snorted._

"_Flesh wound? I chopped your entire right arm off!"_

"_Youngsters these days!_ _You think something as immaterial as a bisected arm will stop me?"_

"_Have it your way." Hector shrugged and chopped the other arm off._

"_Psh! What do you hope to accomplish with such a weak attack?" Bernard snapped as he kicked at Hector._

_Hector let out something akin to a growl as he chopped off Bernard's right leg._

"_Victory is mine!" Bernard crowed as he tried to maneuver his body into position to headbutt Hector._

"… _This is just getting ridiculous." Hector mumbled as he chopped off Bernard's last remaining limb, leaving him stranded on the floor._

"_I spit in your general direction! Ptui!"_

"_Oh, for-" Hector groaned as he slammed the Wolf Beil deep into Bernard's chest._

"_I kill… you… erk."_

"_Somebody call me?"_

Finally.

Now, done and done. I found my brother (and profoundly regret doing so), and I've done what I came here for. I AM OUT OF HERE.

-Priscilla

* * *

Read. Review. And that is all. 


	6. Days 41 to 46

Author: … Next chapter is up, then…

Disclaimer: I don't own this.

* * *

Day 41

Weather: Gloomy, to match my mood

Location: Castle Caelin

I am going to kill Eliwood. Actually, I won't. That would be too swift for him.

I _hate_ him! I was all set to leave yesterday when Jellywood had the nerve to walk up and demand where I was going.

"_Hey, Priscilla! Where are you going?" The all-too familiar voice of Eliwood floated across the courtyard, causing the young noble to look up and sigh._

"_Home."_ _She replied shortly, and returned to tying her luggage onto Mariel._

"_With me as her escort."_ _Erk chimed in. "Good riddance, I say."_

We managed to get about two feet before he told us to stop. In retrospect, we shouldn't have ignored him, but at that point in time, I was too tired to care.

However, I stand by my view that running in front of a pony and startling it so that it ends up running straight into you and knocking you into a mud patch is a stupid move. Eliwood seems to think otherwise though.

Anyway, after he toweled off, me, Erk, John, Cass, Hector, Lyn, and Red himself all sat down for a talk concerning my leave.

I think holding it in the banquet hall where they were trying to set up a feast to celebrate the retaking of Castle Caelin was a bad idea, but that's just me.

Anyway, the talk went like this:

"_You can't leave!" Eliwood snapped. "That would violate the terms of our contract!"_

"_Contract?"_ _John glanced up, breaking the bored expression on his face for once. "What contract?"_

"_What terms?" Priscilla queried, a slight frown on her face."_

"_Simply this: You're not allowed to take leave of this army unless I allow you to!"_

"_I never signed any contract!" Priscilla shot back._

"_Yes, you did!" The equally insistent Eliwood replied._

_John sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I thought no contract or legally binding agreement was to be made without consulting us first?"_

_Eliwood_ _shrugged. "So I forgot this once." Grabbing a slip of paper, he held it out for the others to see. "But anyway, it's here, and it's valid! You can't leave!"_

_Priscilla looked through the contract dubiously, eyebrows raised. Finally, she spoke, "Um, my name isn't spelt with any 'e's in it."_

"_Sure it is!" Eliwood retorted. "See? Preesceella!"_

_There was a long, uncomfortable silence._

"_Wh… what are all of you looking at me like that for?" Eliwood asked defensively._

_Cass rubbed the bridge of her nsoe and sighed. "Well, let me put it in the most tactful way I can think of." She clapped her hands together and looked around brightly. "Lunch, anyone?"_

So I am now free to leave. Which I fully intend to do as soon as I pack my bags.

I'll just take a quick cat nap to recover my strength first.

- Priscilla (Note: No e's. See?)

* * *

Day 42

Weather: Rainy

Location: Castle Caelin

I have the worst luck. And not arbitrarily in the sense that I generally stumble through life without accomplishing anything of real satisfaction, but that the whole freakin' universe seems to have it in for me.

Let's recap:

Got marooned in some village because Marquess Laus wanted me as a wife.

Ended up getting rescued by a bunch of weirdoes with issues.

Roomed with a cleric that has a perpetual motion machine for a mouth.

Discovered my brother, whom I have thought of endlessly since I left House Cornwell, has morphed into a homicidal maniac.

Not to mention his insane (or at least gender-confused) retainer that has not stopped hounding my escort for a second. Erk is about ready to have a nervous breakdown.

Oh, yeah, finding my family got killed (ostensibly by House Ostia) isn't exactly good news either.

Having some idiot with red hair tell me I can't leave because he forged a contract with my name on it.

And to top it off, I now have fallen ill. That is right. Nothing really serious. A fever. But that means I can't leave yet. Meanwhile, the preparations for the banquet are underway, and Lyn thinks they'll be ready in about two day's time.

Yes, banquets in Lycia generally take about a week to set. In Etruria, banquets meant you wore a tie to the dinner. Or if you were female, you put a ribbon (a flower would suffice too) in your hair.

However, they are urgently rushing off to go chase down what remains of Laus (although no one seems to know where they are. Eliwood decided to leave that to the tactician.), and thus, they will limit the preparations to four days.

These Lycians are crazy.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 43

Weather: Rainy

Location: Castle Caelin

Ugh. I've done it. I've promised my soul to the devil. Or thereabouts anyway. I'm staying with Team Eliwood. I still can't believe it.

John entered just now and sat down next to me on the bed. After a few minutes of silence, he glanced over at me.

"_How you feeling?"_

_Priscilla sighed. "Better, I suppose." That hadn't been a lie._

_John laughed and turned to face the wall. "You don't much like Eliwood, do you?"_

"_He's… okay, I guess." Priscilla replied. That was a lie._

"_But me and Cass?_ _Are we okay?"_

_Priscilla was starting to wonder where this was going. "Yeah, you're alright." That hadn't been a lie._

_John nodded, then snapped his fingers. "Hey, when you're better, I'll take you to the Tactician's guild. Would, you like that?"_

_Priscilla frowned. "Well, considering I have no idea what that is…"_

_John shrugged. "Well, it's a place where the tacticians of the continent gather and swap strategies. They have a lot of nice people there, I'm sure you'll like them."_

"_Uh, okay…"_

"_You know, there's this girl down there that's a total Erk fanatic. She takes a bit of getting used to, but I'm sure you'll warm up to her soon enough."_

_Priscilla sighed. She was trying to be polite, but John was trying her patience. She WAS sick, after all. "That's nice, I guess." She mumbled._

"_Have I mentioned the buffet selection? It's awesome."_

_Priscilla rubbed her forehead wearily. "Yeah, um, sounds great."_

"_You know, you kinda remind me of another girl I know down there…"_

"_Sure, whatever…"_

"_Wanna stay on with the group?"_

"_Fine, sure, whatever."_

_John nodded and left the room, yelling, "Hey, Cass!_ _I got Priscilla to stay!"_

_There was complete silence in the room as it's sole occupant realized what she had just done._

"_Argh."_

When I told Erk about it, he reacted surprisingly well. He didn't complain or anything like that. He merely went : "Where you go, I go, Lady Priscilla." Then he walked over to a wall and started bashing his head against it.

As I write this, Erk has been doing that continuously for the past three hours. Wait, nevermind. He just passed out on the floor.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 44

Weather: Rainy

Location: Castle Caelin

We met someone from Ostia today. She's a spy named Leila. However, it wasn't exactly under the best of circumstances.

See, I was feeling better that day, so I decided to go out for a walk. Erk and Cass decided to accompany me. We were near the throne room when a door opened out of nowhere and nearly hit Cass in the face.

_Leila leaned out of the door. "Huh?"_

_Cass blinked. "Um?"_

"_Hey, you're not Laus forces! What, they left already?"_

"_Kind of, yeah."_ _Erk replied._

"_And you are…?" Cass prompted._

"_Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Leila, and I work for House Ostia. Speaking of which, is Lord Hector here? I received a message he was coming with reinforcements."_

"_Yeah, he is." Priscilla spoke up._

"_C'mon, we'll take you to him._

So, we took her to Hector, and basically she told us a few things about the Black Fang.

Lemma do it this way:

Fact: The Black Fang's name is the Black Fang. I'm not very sure this was necessary. It strikes me as a little redundant anyway.

Fact: The Black Fang is based in Bern.

Fact: The Black Fang is led by Brendan Reed.

Fact: The Black Fang spends 50, 000 gold a year in childcare fees.

Fact: The Black Fang's leader has a new wife. Incidentally, this is when the Fang started to go bad.

Fact: Brendan Reed's wife is connected to some guy with the weird name of Infidel. I might be wrong on that though.

Fact: Infidel and his posse are headed for Valor Isle. Or Dread Isle, as Lycians call it. Apparently there's something on it that's dreaded. Hector says that according the legends, it's the cheese sauce.

Fact: Leila is Matthew's boyfriend. No, she didn't announce this at the meeting, but after Rebecca and I decided to tail her, we found them snogging in one of the side hallways. Of course, they, being thieves, discovered us rather quickly. I won't say what happened next, but Matthew has to give me my Mend staff back. Ha!

Fact: We will be heading for Valor Isle. After the banquet, of course. Even Eliwood agrees to this. Your father may be missing, a bunch of scoundrels have nearly killed a Marquess, Infidel or whoever is instigating wars all over Lycia, and they're plotting who knows what down in some unexplored place, but Heaven forbid that we should miss our banquet. Sheesh.

EDIT: Erk had a nightmare about the Guild. Mostly about a woman chasing him in circles. I hope this isn't an ominous portent of the future.

* * *

Day 46

Weather: I dunno. Been inside the whole day.

Location: Castle Caelin dining hall.

Banquet day. Yay.

Elibe's definition of a banquet: Any gathering in which vast quantities of alcohol are consumed.

I've been sitting here for the better part of the afternoon watching the majority of Lycians at this party get completely and utterly sloshed.

Well, at least I've got it better than Erk. He's been stuck next to Lucius for the whole banquet, and he's been subjected to a long diatribe that involves the pros and cons of various shampoos.

Oh, and Raven…

_Hector glanced up from his plate. "Boy, this is some good grub."_

_Raven nodded slightly and shifted his position, revealing a flash of gleaming metal concealed in his tunic. "You will die now."_

_Hector blinked. "What are you-" He was cut off by a war cry._

"_RARGH!"_ _Raven howled as he hurled himself at Hector… with a butter knife._

"_What the-" Hector's voice failed him as he was rapidly forced to grapple for his life against the obviously deranged mercenary. "Someone get him off me!"_

"…" _Matthew grabbed another bottle of whiskey. "Nothing to do with me." He said before he started drinking._

Dear brother had to be forcibly restrained after that. John supplied that by bashing him upside the head.

I lead a charmed life, and now I'm stuck in a room filled with piss drunk Lycians.

We're setting out tomorrow, and I can only hope the drunken stupor wears off by then. Otherwise, I'll end up being led by a guy who can't tell right from left. And that's on a good day.

-Priscilla

* * *

Please review. 


	7. Days 47 to 52

Okay, so a new chapter is up. Important note at the bottom, for all you readers.

Disclaimer: I own Fire Emblem. Seriously, I do. I have the cartridge and the receipt to prove it. What, that's not what you meant? Er, never mind then…

* * *

Day 47

Weather: Sunny

Location: Lycia. I can't really be more specific than that

Well, we're here. Somewhere.

Someone has _got_ to tell Eliwood that asking for directions may not necessarily be a bad thing. Or, more accurately, someone has got to tell him, _and_ make sure he listens.

John and Cass have been yelling at him nonstop for the past five hours, but Eliwood insists that he knows where he's going. I'm slightly more inclined to believing the two tacticians, of course, but that's just me.

Well, me, Erk, Matthew, Guy, Serra, Dorcas, Kent, Sain, and just about everyone else in the army.

I hear Bartre is planning a mutiny.

-

We just crossed the Bern border. Hector grabbed Eliwood, shook him by the neck, and pointed in the other direction. After some 'persuasion' from Erk and Guy (mostly through threats of a painful, painful death), Eliwood agreed to listen to the others and follow our directions now.

Which still leaves us with the problem of dodging Bern border patrols. The basic confrontation goes something like this:

"_Halt!" The soldier snapped as he leveled his lance at the group. "You there! What is your purpose here?"_

_Matthew put on what had to be the cheesiest grin in the long history of cheesy grins. "Why, hello there, mr. Soldier! We're but simple tourists, here to get a feel for your lovely country!"_

"_Indeed." Oswin intoned as he tried to stretch his mouth into some semblance of a smile. "It's very, uh, mountainy."_

_The soldier nodded. "Well, see, I don't believe you for a second. I think you fine folk here are SPIES, yes I do."_

_Matthew sighed. "I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this." Turning to Oswin, he whispered. "Bring out the big guns."_

"_Why, hel-LO there!" Serra gushed as she ran up to the soldier and began caressing his chest plate. "My, that's a really nice armor of yours. Is it steel? Or perhaps iron? You know, once I was in this shop and I saw this absolutely exquisite set of armor, but, unfortunately, it was ever so expensive. I know! You look like a rich chap! Perhaps you could loan me, oh, say a few thousand gold?"_

_Prisiclla_ _noted that the soldier was suddenly looking very, **very** panicked. "Ohlookatthetimeigottagobye!" He yelled before he turned and ran off screaming._

I'd never thought I say this, but thank Elimine for Serra.

Well, it's near the end of the day, we've finally made it out of Bern, and we should make it to Badon in a couple of days if all goes well.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 48

Weather: Raining tigers and wolves

Location: Somewhere in Santaruz

All _never_ goes well. It starting pouring buckets this morning, and it hasn't stopped yet.

I hate Lycian weather. Come to think of it, I hate most thing that come from Lycia.

Wait, _I_ come from Lycia. Does that mean I just zinged myself?

Anyway, we tried to navigate in this weather until we Marcus nearly rode straight into a house. Then we agreed that this was no place for moving.

I just wish we'd set up tent _before_ the rain started. The floor is covered with about a three inches of water, and John is moaning the loss of 3 of his best maps.

Erk, meanwhile, is making handy use of his Fire spell to dry the both of us off.

Having a mage as an escort can come in useful sometimes. Of course, it can be annoying too. Considering that he is always, _always_, asking whether I'm all right or not.

I appreciate his concern, I really do. But it just gets irritating after a while.

In other news, Sain has decided that the best thing to do while it's cold and wet out is to snuggle up next to each other 'for warmth'. Convenient, though, that he's only been asking the girls.

I'm turning in early. The constant heat from the Fire is making me drowsy.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 49

Weather: Sunny

Location: Badon Outskirts

Well, we're here. Finally. Took us three days for what _should_ have been a 3 hour journey. Not that I'm complaining about being here though. I'm dead tired.

Well, if we're lucky, we'll just find someone who can take us to Valor without any fuss, and I can get some shut-eye on the boat.

Or not. Eliwood just came back and told us that in order to get to Valor, we have to earn one hundred thousand gold. He says the fastest way to do it would be in the arena.

I only hope that he has a basic understanding of the nature of troubadours. Part of that nature is that we cannot fight. But then, I seriously doubt he's spent much time in the vicinity of troubadours before.

Heck, I doubt he's spent much time in the company of anyone of the opposite gender.

In any case, we're heading towards the arena now, so, wish us luck.

-

Change of plans. We now have to beat a bunch of pirates just _oozing_ testosterone from every pore before we can get passage to Badon. As if I weren't tired enough already.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I just need to hang around and heal anyone who gets hurt. People like Erk are the ones who have to run around, dodge pirate attacks and get hurt.

However, I _am_ slightly worried about my position. I'm near the end of an alley or something, with my back facing the majority of the pirates. Most of them are forming a blockade or something, so they aren't moving.

I guess I _am_ relatively safe, but I can't help feeling slightly worried that

* * *

Day 50

Weather: Who knows?

Location: Badon Inn

Life just never gives me a break. While I was writing, a bunch of idiots from the Black Fang just _had_ to ride up and their leader just _had_ to single me out.

From what I can remember of yesterday:

_The Black Fang Paladin glared at Priscilla. "You are about to die. Project an aural signal traditionally associated with terror if you must."_

"_No, sir."_ _One of his subordinates shook his head. "It just doesn't sound right."_

"_Well, whatever." The Paladin shrugged and charged the unsuspecting troubadour._

Luckily for me, his aim was as bad as his speech and he only succeeded in smacking me with the hilt of his sword. Knocked me out, but no lasting damage.

Oh, and when Erk found out, he went berserk and set all of them on fire.

Score one for the mage.

We'll be trying to reach the ship again later today. At least I got a good night's rest first. I'll be more alert, at the very least.

Wish me luck.

…Why am I asking an inanimate diary for luck?

-

The battle is going smoothly. That's pretty good. However, Eliwood is advocating the charge-straight-through-tactics-be-damned strategy. This, you might expect, is causing a slight amount of unhappiness to John and Cass, who are trying their damndest to get through this battle with zero casualties.

Hector and Oswin are also grumbling about being sent to block the paths with their bodies. And while it may be undignified, this allows Rebecca to practice her archery.

Lord knows she needs it.

-

Well, we lost. _Again_. Wanna know why?

Mostly it had to do with a pair of idiot swordsman. One of them is Guy. The other is related to me, you have three guesses to figure out who he is, and the first two don't count.

Apparently the two of them got into this argument about who was the better swords user (again), and they decided that it was in their best interests to charge straight ahead of everyone and see how many pirates they could carve up.

They then proceeded to have a grand old fashioned slaughterfest. At least until Damian (Black Fang Paladin Guy) showed up again.

"_Take that!" Guy snapped. "And that!"_

"_You are about to die. Scream if you must."_

"_Huh?" Guy looked up. "What did you sa-"_

_**THWACK!**_

_Damian raised his sword triumphantly in the air, an image that would probably have worked a lot better had he not been sporting third-degree burns over the majority of his body. "I rule!" He proclaimed, before falling off his horse and hitting his head on the pavement._

So we're back the inn, and I'm stuck nursing a wounded Myrmidon. He doesn't seem too depressed, though. He says that 'scars are more manly'.

Erk (who's been hanging by the doorway reading) said that if that was the case, Eliwood was going to be the most macho person in the team by the time this quest was over.

Guy shut up about scars after that.

* * *

-Priscilla

Day 51

Weather: Cloudy

Location: Badon Square.

Eliwood has _finally_ agreed to attempting to sneak around the pirates and has chosen (through lots) Raven.

It may just be me, but I don't really see my brother as the sneaky type.

Lucius, however, disagrees. According to him/her/it, Raven can, so, like, totally do it.

Right.

So, while waiting around for dear brother, we're playing cards.

Matthew has been cleaning me out of my savings. Well, he _was_, until Hector spotted him pulling out a hidden card from his cloak.

Matthew then very generously agreed to return me my money, provided I heal him. And I didn't even have to ask. What a gentleman.

Bartre isn't very sure how to play cards, so he's been doing the next best thing: annoying the living heck out of Dorcas and Lowen. The two of them are currently running around the square, screaming nonstop.

Erk has been seeking solace in the inn, away from Lucius, who is looking for him so he/she/it can tell him _all_ about a new brand of hair conditioner he/she/it just bought.

You know what? I'm just going to refer to Lucius as a 'him' now. It gets too confusing otherwise.

John's been keeping to himself. I think he's drawing some new battle plan. Fine with me. Cass is more fun to talk to, anyway.

Except that she now seems obsessed with bringing me and Erk to the Tacticians Guild. (Whatever that is).

We've made a plan to hide from her in the early morning of the next day in one of the houses.

Oh, and Raven tried to take on a pirate with a Swordslayer all by himself. They dumped him at the entrance of the inn and told us to try again tomorrow because they were tired.

In other news, Serra has been bugging Oswin nonstop. If I didn't know better, I'd say she has a crush or something.

Oh, and Dorcas is busy penning a letter to his wife. Something about how he needs her to come and get him out of this insane asylum. Can't say I blame him.

Guy's Killing Edge is looking kinda rusty, but he refuses to acknowledge that fact, or let anyone near it with a bottle of polish. He also happens to throw a hissy fit anytime _anyone_ suggests polishing that thing.

"_Hey, Guy." Matthew walked up. "How's it going?"_

"_Fine, pretty much." Guy shrugged._

_Matthew nodded and glanced over at the sword hanging in Guy's scabbard. "Y'know, Guy… I was wondering. Don't you think that Killing Edge of yours could use a bit of poli-"_

"_WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" Guy snapped as he brandished said Killing Edge, whirling it about wildly. "She's not rusty! She's still perfectly shiny and sharp, I tell you! This blade is **feared** among evildoers of the realm! FEARED! It is so sharp it can even cut through the hardest steel!"_

_Matthew blinked. "Uh…" He began hesitantly._

"_You don't believe me?" Guy raged. "I'll show you!" Saying so, he turned and grabbed a rotten piece of plywood Priscilla could probably had snapped in two with her bare hands. "Watch in wonder!" Guy screamed as he brought his Killing Edge down onto the wood with all the force he could muster._

_Nothing happened._

"_Ragh!_ _Hai! Yah! HAAAAARRGGHH!" Guy slashed and stabbed and sliced, and after about fifteen tries, he managed to saw through the plywood._

"_See! What did I tell you?" Guy crowed as he held the sword aloft. "A wondrous blade!"_

_Matthew blinked. "I… see…" Thus saying, he slowly began to edge away from Guy._

Personally, I think he's in denial.

Time for bed now, I suppose. A real bed again! I get this silly smile on my face just thinking about it.

-Priscilla

* * *

Day 52

Weather: Cloudy

Location: Canas' House

Um, we found this guy's house to hole up in until Cass gives up the urge of taking us to the Tactician's Guild. John's in here too because he screwed up in one of the maps he was drawing, so Cass is looking for him. Odds are it won't be a pretty sight when they meet.

Another thing? It seems those Black Fang goons aren't waiting for the pirates to pop out now. They're attacking us in the home. Which is pretty upsetting to Canas.

_John peered gloomily out of the window at the encamped enemy forces. "Right. Any bright ideas as to how we get out of this one?"_

_Canas_ _shrugged. "I believe I have an idea." Walking over to the front door, he threw it open, drew himself up to his full height, and bellowed. "You darn kids, GET OFFA MY LAWN!"_

_**THWACK!**_

_Canas_ _peered down at the Javelin currently embedded in his chest. "Hmmm… that didn't go as well as I'd hoped." He commented before collapsing._

After I healed him, Erk took the bloody Javelin and walked back to the front door.

"_Erk…" John paused. "I don't mean to disparage your fighting ability, but are you sure you know the first thing about using lances."_

"_Pointy tip goes into soft part of enemy."_

"…_Good enough."_

"_Fire."_ _Erk murmured, and suddenly the Javelin was glowing. Opening to door, he hefted it and yelled. "Hey, Black Fang goons! You dropped your Javelin back here and now it's all glowy with Fire energy and painful to hold!" He tossed the Javelin back at the group. "So you can have it back now!"_

After the big explosion, we sneaked out the back door and returned to camp.

Oh, yeah, and now Canas is tagging along with us for some reason. Apparently he can use Dark Magic to fight. Yay.

Edit: Canas wants me to call it 'elder' magic because 'dark' magic is being biased. Fine, whatever.

-

Well, some… _interesting_ things have happened while we were under siege. After seeing the condition Raven ended up in, Eliwood is once more advocating the 'charge straight through' strategy.

Sain has now narrowed his sights to Rebecca, at least for the time being, and has been distracting her from her archery practice. It may just be me, but I think I saw one of the pirates constantly attacking Sain whenever we fight. Maybe that pirate knows Rebecca? None of my business, I suppose.

Anyway, Bartre is now attempting to follow Eliwood's instructions about charging, and has tried using his head as a battering ram against a wall.

Not only did he knock himself senseless, the wall was in the wrong direction.

I need a nap.

-Priscilla

(X)

Now, where were we? Oh, yes. I am well aware that this is technically against the rules. I'll not hold it against anyone for reporting me, but in the end, I lose nothing.

Please read and review.


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